My son, Ben, stutters. Not all the time but enough to where it is noticeable and affects his speech when he is trying to get something out. He stutters mainly over the letter ” I “. I can not think of a greater grace than this.

It is funny how God can disguise blessings in things that bring us pain and hurt feelings. I have seen others make fun of him when he stutters and had him stare at me embarrassed because of it. Being his Dad, I suffer in his stuttering as much as he does. I have often wished I could stutter just a little to make him feel better.

As bad as the stuttering may be at times, I am amazed that God did not cause his stuttering to affect all his speech just mainly the letter “I”. It is as though God has caused Ben to stutter over himself. He has made Ben have to slow down and think about himself whenever he gets the chance to talk to others about who he is.

I think that would not be such a bad thing for all of us to stutter over. Maybe God should afflict all people, especially His children, with a stutter when it comes to themselves. Maybe the stutter would make us more aware of our incessant need to talk about ourselves. Maybe we would begin to see how many times we make the conversation about us, instead of others. Maybe we would see how much we relate everything back to our own lives, when those around us are suffering so loudly. But most of us don’t stutter. We have no problem talking about ourselves, boasting over who we are, talking about what we have done. All the while lips and mouth that are to drip God’s message like honey (Ps 51:15), end up spewing it out so that we can speak more about ourselves.

I pray God will be gracious and make me stutter over myself and trip me up everytime I place my life over His or others. I pray that my life will be marked uncommon, because I chose to live for someone other than myself. I pray that God will be gracious enough to make me stutter.